A BRIEF PIECE OF SLASH FAN FICTION INCORPORATING ELEMENTS OF “RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK” AND THE STAR TREK EPISODE “THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER,” WITH APOLOGIES TO AN EPISODE OF “THE BIG BANG THEORY,” AND AN ANONYMOUS BULLETIN BOARD POST
The tricorder came to life, and Spock fiddled with the controls.
“Ah,” he said, “I’m getting an image now.”
Images appeared on the tricorder.
“In 1933, Hitler came to power,” Spock said, “and within six years, he declared war on Europe. By 1940, he occupied Poland and France, and was threatening Britain.”
Kirk scratched his chin.
“In 1936, the Nazis learned of the existence of a massive potential source of power,” Spock went on, “The Ark of the Covenant. Because of the intervention of Jones, however, they dug in the wrong place, and Jones was able to recover the Ark himself.”
The mention of the name Jones made Kirk shudder. Once again he thought of Jones’s brilliance and sturdy good looks, and longed for him to be there, right now, with them.
“Let me help,” he had said to Jones. “Thousands of years from now, a playwright will use those words to mean ‘I Love You.’”
He had taken Jones’s hand in his at that moment.
“Let me help,” Jones had said again, and they had shared their first embrace.
“Because of further intervention on the part of Jones,” Spock went on, “the Nazis were delayed in getting hold of the Ark. When they finally got the Ark from Jones, they opened it in a remote location, which killed a French Nazi sympathizer, some low level Nazi officers, and assorted enlisted men in the German army.”
“Yes,” Kirk said, admiring the tenacity of his true love, and his part in the death of assorted men who played a part in the perpetration of some of the worst evils in human history. “So he helped bring about an Allied victory, of sorts.”
Spock looked up from the tricorder.
“But Jim, had Jones not existed, the Nazis would have gotten a key medallion that would have pointed them straight to the Ark. And due to the expediency with which they would have gotten the Ark, they would have shipped it directly to Berlin.”
A look of disquiet appeared on Kirk’s face. Spock continued to work the tricorder, which showed images not of what happened, but of what could have been.
“The Ark would then have been opened in a huge ceremony at Brandenburg Gate, with Hitler, Goebbels, Goering, and countless other high level Nazi operatives. At that point, the power of the Ark would have killed them all.”
Spock looked up at Kirk.
“Jim,” he said, “if Indiana Jones had not existed in 1936, the Ark would have killed the entire core of the Nazi War Machine, and the entire Nazi movement would have collapsed. There would have been no World War II. And there would have been no Wannsee Conference.”
A tear ran down Kirk’s face.
“Jim,” said Spock solemnly, “there would have been no Holocaust.”
“You mean…” Kirk whispered.
“Yes,” said Spock, who then then uttered words that made Kirk shudder:
“Jim, Indiana Jones must die.”