A Letter In Response to My Cat Hugo Concerning the New Direction of This Blog

Dear Hugo,

In response to your letter concerning your taking over this blog: 

I more than understand your desire to take over the blog. It is yours. 

Nonetheless, I must insist on the following modification. 

I believe that if I begin my entries with “By Derek Leif Special Correspondent,” followed by a link to the entry in which you took over the blog (to explain this rather unusual byline), that some may find this a tad pretentious. 

There is, unfortunately, a tradition of people creating blogs in which they write things, and then pass them off as the writings of their animals. Some find this particular thing more than a bit precious, and I’m afraid that a number of people may very well read this and say “oh, I get it...he’s doing this really overly precious thing where he’s writing in the voice of his cat Hugo, and saying that Hugo is taking over the blog. Okay, got it...yeah, that’s really adorable. Yeah. Sure. I’m gonna be sick.”

We both know who is in charge of the apartment. In fact, I would go further: as a cat person for over 40 years, I am more than aware of that fact that there is absolute truth to the adage that dogs have masters, while cats have staff. 

Therefore, I suggest that we leave it this: I will publish your letters, and simply post my entries in as low key a manner as possible. This will not, admittedly, broadcast the fact that the blog is really yours, but people will be well aware of this, anyway…in fact, most already are.

To go even further: because a number of my friends have had cats for decades, they’ve actually already stopped thinking about it as my blog. It is yours, and always will be...I just leave a few words here every now and then. 

Trust me...if I just publish your letters and then put up my musings in the most unassuming manner possible, it will have far more of the effect that you seek. As it is now, people are far more interested in what you have to say. I mean, look at the postings of Facebook pictures...things that I post without you get, I don’t know, two or three likes (unless it’s a picture from high school, aparently), while pictures of you get several dozen. 

In short, people are well aware that this blog is your world, and I just live in it from time to time. Like Sherman and Mr. Peabody, they are well aware that you, sir, are the brains of this outfit, and that I merely walk in your shadow. 

I will always be at the ready to dictate your letters. They give our vast readership (at least three dozen, at last count) the kind of epistolary verve and snap that my prose will never offer.

Finally: some may even find this particular entry pretentious and precious. I shall take your advice, and ignore them. 

Your Obedient Servant,
Derek