ESSAY-DISPATCH FROM SAMSON, GOODWILL AMBASSADOR OF 31 PRATT AVENUE, BEVERLY MASSACHUSETTS TO MEGAN MILLER, FAITHFUL SERVANT AND COMPANION RE: INCESSANT BARKING
I take my job seriously, okay? Whenever I see somebody, I think of them as a source of love and kindness. I have a heart on my side; I wear it proudly.
I wanted to explain the fact that even though I seek love wherever I may find it, well, I bark a lot.
You’ve told me many times that barking a lot doesn’t really make people want to come closer. In fact, you’ve told me that it makes people want to stay away.
I think part of this has to do with the fact that I speak a different language from you. That’s why I would like to translate my words into English, so that you can understand what I’m saying. I’m really saying good stuff; maybe it just doesn’t come across that way.
When I’m on the porch, I know I’m loud, and I know that I talk a lot. It’s just that I get so enthusiastic. I see people, and I want them to come closer. So I usually say something like “Hey. Hey. Hey. Come here. Please. I love you. I want you to rub my stomach. I love you. Hey. Hey. Hey.”
I know that you’re right when you tell me to maybe calm my enthusiasm. The trouble is, I just can’t do that, no matter how hard I try. When I smell someone from a couple of miles away, I know this sounds weird, but I can honestly smell their love. We Bassets can do that.
And when that happens, I just get so excited that I can’t control myself. I want them to stop by, and share the love. So I tell them that. A lot.
And I’m really loud when I do this. I know I am. I can’t help it.
Look, the world can be a really mean place. There’s just a lot of meanness around. And when I see a source of love, I can’t help it. I get excited. I get enthusiastic.
I especially feel this when other dogs walk by. And I know that here, I don’t have the excuse of them not understanding what I’m saying. I think some of them, who are a lot more laid back than I am when it comes to the whole love thing, are a little put off by my enthusiasm.
This is why I’m so grateful when you occasionally take me to the beach. When we’re there, I occasionally meet others who know exactly what I’m saying, and take it the right way. I’ve made a lot of friends this way, and we message back on forth on Facebook; it’s awesome.
I know that generally speaking, people and animals like it a lot more when you just sort of quietly introduce yourself, talk a bit, figure out what you have in common, and build a friendship on that. My problem, and I admit that it’s a problem, is that when I see someone in front of me—or, more usually, when I smell them a few miles away—I just think “awesome…a friend.” So I start talking. A lot. In a really loud way.
I’ll try to stop doing this, but I’m sorry to say that I just don’t see it happening. You see, you kind of made it clear from the get go that you were going to give me love, and a lot of it. I really, really like the whole love thing, and I want to give it to as many people I see, and get some in return.
So I admit that I’m probably going to keep talking a lot, and I also admit that when I talk, I’m going to talk really, really loud. I don’t think I can do anything about this. I’m a hound, and we’re really, really loud.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that when I’m really really loud, I’m just telling everyone how much I love them. I know that there are a lot of people who hear this and think that I’m telling them that I’ll be really angry if they try and rob the house. I mean, yes, I’d be really angry if they tried to rob the house, but I honestly don’t think they’re going to rob the house; I just want more people to scratch my stomach when I lie down on my back.
Just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’d like to say it won’t happen again, but I’m afraid it’s going to happen many more times…like, a whole lot more. Just know that I’m trying to share the love, and that I’m really, really sorry.
Could you maybe scratch my stomach? Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Good Will Ambassador
31 Pratt Avenue