I read with interest your essay from the 3rd of April, 2018, “Dispatch From the Land of Blah.” Here, at last, was an essay that conveyed the true state of life’s condition most of the time. I found it refreshing to read sentiments that echoed my own perception of the way the world is so often.
I do take issue, however, with the general tone of the essay. Time and again, you depicted your so called “World of Blah” as a grim, depressing place. In this aspect, I must disagree.
There is a vast swath of satisfaction to be found not only in The World of Blah, but in its noble twin, The World of Meh. Nothing is more impressive than the ability to look at the world, and declare that it just isn’t that impressive. I’ve lived my life this way, and it’s been a reliably empowering and rewarding viewpoint to take just about all of the time.
It’s a brave person, when life’s judges are holding up signs that say “10,” to be the sole dissenting vote that holds up the sign with the number 1 on it. When other people say that it’s vital to stop and smell the roses, it is a brave person who says “I’m allergic to flowers.” When others talk about how life is a vast spectrum of joy and excitement, it is a brave person who has the fortitude to say “color me unimpressed.”
As you know, The Transcendentalists believed in rising above the everyday perceptions of life, and finding grace and peace in a mystical union with all things. Look, I guess that has its place, but I far prefer looking at someone with that beatific look, and saying “I’m just fine where I am, and you’re blocking my view of the bird I want to kill.” Cynicism is a virtue, and I intend to fly my gray flag of jaded indifference with pride.
It’s vital to remember that the Great Wall of China was basically a fence to keep the neighbors out. It’s important to remember that The Last Supper was basically a dinner party where the guest of honor was a serious buzzkill. And as for the Holy Grail…it was a cup; you can buy drinking glasses at Ikea, and save yourself a lot of time and money.
It’s amazing how much better life becomes when you learn to look at it through jaded eyes. Life loses its burnished luster, and instead maintains a dull sheen that teaches you the best kind of facial expressions to wear as you make your way through the world. When people say “turn that frown upside down,” you’re empowered to say “this is my smile. If I turn it upside down, I will be sharing an insincere viewpoint of life with the world, and will be a liar; I don’t like lying, and I’d like to know why you do.”
In conclusion, embrace your Blah. Let it be your armor. When people tell you drink deep from the chalice of life, don’t be afraid to say “no, thanks, I’ll just sit here and sip my coffee.”
Keep writing. It’s good. Not great, but good.
Empress, 31 Pratt Avenue