It was mating season, and Abner, Chip, Scott, and the rest of their fellow musk oxen, were simply not in the mating mood, much to the chagrin of the ladies.
Seeking out an ear to bend, they sought out the company of their friend Boris, drummer for the hardcore band Dead and Rotting in the Street.
“It’s just gotten so boring,” said Abner.
Yeah, said Chip, “We have these thick skulls, you know? And during mating season, we back up, like, 20 yards from each other, and keep smashing our heads together until one of us just says ‘okay…the woman is yours.’”
Boris, who wore a clothespin over his nose—for musk oxen are not called musk oxen for nothing—patted Chip’s head. He had always been grateful to his friends for fighting off a number of bullies who teased him ruthlessly, sending them hurtling across the street with one running butt of their heads. Hardcore bands were not exactly a common thing in Alaska, and Boris had taken his share of abuse from his classmates, as do all young men who stand out from the crowd; he was therefore grateful to the musk oxen for allowing him to pursue his musical passion in peace.
“It’s just gotten so dull,” said Scott. “I mean, what’s the point? Okay, I know it gets us a mate, but it just seems like such a waste of time.”
“We need something, you know?” said Abner. “Something passionate. Something fiery.”
Obviously, Boris was in a position to help out his friends. And he simply did not want the muskox to become extinct from the pains of Alaska due to lethargy.
And that is why, in a certain part of the Alaskan plain, the air is thick with the sound of Minor Threat, The Bad Brains, The Exploited, Black Flag, Fear, and many other classic bands. Boris drums merrily through covers of songs and through quite a few originals.
And as his guitarist and bassist play thundering chords while the band’s lead singer screams lyrics, the pit in front of the stage is alive with the constant slamming together of muskox skulls.
Many other herds have flocked to see Boris’s band, and quite a few muskox have formed bands of their own. And some of these bands are composed of female muskoxen, which more than sets the tone for future activities that ensure the survival of the species.