I ate a crab cake burger today. It tasted pretty good. I don’t see myself ordering it again but the point is, I ordered it.
I’m so dull when it comes to eating. I have, in my life, eaten Costco burritos for dinner several days in a row (a fact that horrified a friend of mine who’s a devoted foodie). When I go to Chinese restaurants, no matter how fancy, I eat a lot of fried rice and pork. Most of the time, when I order a burger, I order...a burger. I do not order much of anything on it. Okay, if I’m feeling particularly adventurous, I’ll put mustard in it. I am, however, changing. Now, I really do try, if I’m eating out, to order other things. I realize that it doesn’t sound like much to order a crab cake burger, with plans to order a portabello mushroom burger or a black bean burger in the future, but this is huge for me. As a kid, I was beyond finicky. There was a long period where I would eat nothing but Rice Krispies for dinner. I just didn’t like things to be that complicated. I liked really bland things. I used to pick off all the cheese on pizza, and just eat the dough and sauce. My older brother, for some reason, was incensed about this. As long as I’m on the subject of my older brother--a subject, I’m afraid, I may come back to from time to time--I suggest that he did not help matters. One time, when I was five and he was eleven, he took it upon himself introduce me to sunny side up eggs (I only ate scrambled). He cooked one and insisted that I eat it. When I didn’t, he forced my jaws open, and then repeatedly hit me until I was properly frightened of him, saying he would keep doing so until I ate it. I did. I did not like it. Fortunately, other folks passed through my life who eased me into such things as mushrooms. A girlfriend who eats mushrooms, specifically. It was really nice telling her that I love mushroom risotto now, and she was thrilled. In fact, I can eat sunny side up eggs from time to time, although they are not my first choice. I’m trying to remember what pleasant experience led to my trying them. I do remember that it was more pleasant than someone repeatedly hitting me and saying that they would do more of the same if I didn’t try sunny side up eggs. I am still a long way off from, say, trying balut (to know more about balut, follow this link to a Cracked article about disgusting foods; trust me, though, it’s rough). I probably could, however, after a few drinks, try escamol. This is progress. It also shows that you can, at least with me, get far better results with kindness than the threat of violence.
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